If I can ask; what about when, such as here in the UK at this time of year, sunrise is 04:45 and it's not dark till gone 22:00? (Our bedroom is west facing so if it's not cloudy, we have blinding sun through the window till sunset). The more I learn about circadian biology, the more important I understand it to be and the more I attempt to build our life in rhythm with it... but I just can't be doing with getting no personal time in either the early morning or late night if my 3 year old is awake with the sun 😅
I have been slipping into a different pattern as the days get warmer… napping during the hot hours (my 2 year old has been taking like 3 hour naps, AC set on 77, no curtains, blinds open) and even my 5 year old has been napping some. I try to wake him after 45 mins max. And I’m pregnant so definitely napping lol… the kids have been staying up later at night, which I don’t even mind… though my husband is not on board. He’s a landscaper so long hours in the heat and he’s so tired, half the time he’s in bed before all the kids are, so that is really hard to balance.
Agree on the challenges of summer bedtime! I wish I could say I’ve fully mastered it, but it’s still a bit topsy turvy for me at times, too, especially when my husband falls asleep first (which he also often does). One thing I’ve found helpful is to be very strict about early dinner and cutting off the artificial light on time in the evening so I can hustle the kids to bed as dusk is settling in. They seem to understand the value of the natural nightlight through the windows this time of year—less scary than getting to bed in the full dark. When I have the energy for it, lullabies are a great way to go instead of a show or bedtime story. It’s amazing how fast they will fall asleep after they start singing along with me; I think it’s something about the breath regulation.
We do usually do bedtime stories and a song. Each kid has a bit of 1:1 time during their song to wind down. My 7 year old is def struggling though. He is NOT napping and is staying up way too late. I feel like I can tell in his mood that he’s tired.
This was soooo fascinating and I have a million comments and questions but I will stick to just one I’ve been mulling over since the babyhood workshop and this article kind of brought up again for me.
Do you think that since toddlers are still dependent on melatonin that night weaning should be held off until they have a fully matured independent circadian rhythm? Would that mean that dropping the daytime nap (at least for the most part barring deep summer/winter) would signal when it’s safe to night wean? Is that why you say between 2-3 bc that’s when this most often happens?
Thank you for another great piece and indulging me! 🙏🏻
Ahh, great question. Baby is only 100% dependent on mama’s melatonin in the first ~6 weeks of life. By the time they are old enough for you to be considering weaning/day weaning/night weaning, they are releasing good amounts of their own melatonin and the breastmilk is more of a support anyways. Also, daytime milk also has components in it (like endocannabinoids) that have similar antioxidant and time-synchronizing time cues at melatonin. So… watch baby and see how they do! I’ve seen families successfully use either day weaning or night weaning as a bridge toward full weaning (or neither and just slowly releasing the breastfeeding relationship without making hard and fast rules about nursing at day or night). Each child is really unique in how they handle weaning so even in the same family, things can be different one time compared to the next. Something that has helped me with weaning is to move towards breastfeeding be after meals rather than before (in the morning this can be tricky if your toddler is used to breastfeeding before breakfast!). Also, yes, the ability for them to drop naps and still act happy all day is a sign of circadian maturation but hadn’t really thought about it as an indication of readiness for weaning. That’s an interesting idea and I’ll have to give that some thought. Thank you for bringing it up!
I was feeling a very acute sense of need to night wean my now 2 yr old asap in my first trimester due to aversion and exhaustion and a sinking sense of loss of self. However now on the other side in the happy second trimester I am glad I decided to slow roll it and we have been very very slowly doing it. Lots of discussing, reading, and “not now”, she seems to be weaning herself as she understands I need a little less booby time. lol
I’ve done nothing else in my mothering abruptly or without considering her feelings first, so I’m glad I was able to get over the hump.
I’m glad to know if it does end it won’t be to her detriment in this way at least! Thank you for your thoughtful response. 🤍
If I can ask; what about when, such as here in the UK at this time of year, sunrise is 04:45 and it's not dark till gone 22:00? (Our bedroom is west facing so if it's not cloudy, we have blinding sun through the window till sunset). The more I learn about circadian biology, the more important I understand it to be and the more I attempt to build our life in rhythm with it... but I just can't be doing with getting no personal time in either the early morning or late night if my 3 year old is awake with the sun 😅
One strategy would be to deliberately control your light with the blackout curtains. The other could be to drop into a summer nap schedule yourself. Here’s a share about that: https://www.brighterdaysdarkernights.com/p/summer-nap-schedule And also here: https://www.brighterdaysdarkernights.com/p/summer-without-the-ac/comments
I have been slipping into a different pattern as the days get warmer… napping during the hot hours (my 2 year old has been taking like 3 hour naps, AC set on 77, no curtains, blinds open) and even my 5 year old has been napping some. I try to wake him after 45 mins max. And I’m pregnant so definitely napping lol… the kids have been staying up later at night, which I don’t even mind… though my husband is not on board. He’s a landscaper so long hours in the heat and he’s so tired, half the time he’s in bed before all the kids are, so that is really hard to balance.
Agree on the challenges of summer bedtime! I wish I could say I’ve fully mastered it, but it’s still a bit topsy turvy for me at times, too, especially when my husband falls asleep first (which he also often does). One thing I’ve found helpful is to be very strict about early dinner and cutting off the artificial light on time in the evening so I can hustle the kids to bed as dusk is settling in. They seem to understand the value of the natural nightlight through the windows this time of year—less scary than getting to bed in the full dark. When I have the energy for it, lullabies are a great way to go instead of a show or bedtime story. It’s amazing how fast they will fall asleep after they start singing along with me; I think it’s something about the breath regulation.
We do usually do bedtime stories and a song. Each kid has a bit of 1:1 time during their song to wind down. My 7 year old is def struggling though. He is NOT napping and is staying up way too late. I feel like I can tell in his mood that he’s tired.
This was soooo fascinating and I have a million comments and questions but I will stick to just one I’ve been mulling over since the babyhood workshop and this article kind of brought up again for me.
Do you think that since toddlers are still dependent on melatonin that night weaning should be held off until they have a fully matured independent circadian rhythm? Would that mean that dropping the daytime nap (at least for the most part barring deep summer/winter) would signal when it’s safe to night wean? Is that why you say between 2-3 bc that’s when this most often happens?
Thank you for another great piece and indulging me! 🙏🏻
Ahh, great question. Baby is only 100% dependent on mama’s melatonin in the first ~6 weeks of life. By the time they are old enough for you to be considering weaning/day weaning/night weaning, they are releasing good amounts of their own melatonin and the breastmilk is more of a support anyways. Also, daytime milk also has components in it (like endocannabinoids) that have similar antioxidant and time-synchronizing time cues at melatonin. So… watch baby and see how they do! I’ve seen families successfully use either day weaning or night weaning as a bridge toward full weaning (or neither and just slowly releasing the breastfeeding relationship without making hard and fast rules about nursing at day or night). Each child is really unique in how they handle weaning so even in the same family, things can be different one time compared to the next. Something that has helped me with weaning is to move towards breastfeeding be after meals rather than before (in the morning this can be tricky if your toddler is used to breastfeeding before breakfast!). Also, yes, the ability for them to drop naps and still act happy all day is a sign of circadian maturation but hadn’t really thought about it as an indication of readiness for weaning. That’s an interesting idea and I’ll have to give that some thought. Thank you for bringing it up!
I was feeling a very acute sense of need to night wean my now 2 yr old asap in my first trimester due to aversion and exhaustion and a sinking sense of loss of self. However now on the other side in the happy second trimester I am glad I decided to slow roll it and we have been very very slowly doing it. Lots of discussing, reading, and “not now”, she seems to be weaning herself as she understands I need a little less booby time. lol
I’ve done nothing else in my mothering abruptly or without considering her feelings first, so I’m glad I was able to get over the hump.
I’m glad to know if it does end it won’t be to her detriment in this way at least! Thank you for your thoughtful response. 🤍
The first trimester can be so hard!!