Why don't we sleep when we are tired?😴
Why don't we sleep when we are tired?😴
🌟 Avoiding obstacles like FOMO, loneliness, and mania in the quest for strong circadian rhythmicity
What if I told you it was actually pretty easy to be more alert in your day? I know it sounds silly, especially when we are so conditioned to think of the modern lifestyle as so exhausting. But it's true! I used to have trouble falling asleep and often wake up feeling unrested. It turns out I was making two simple mistakes:
My bedroom had overhead full-spectrum fluorescent lighting! Whoops! I should have had warm-toned nightlights.
I used to work out every day, at night! Whoops! I should have done my workouts earlier in the day.
While these kinds of things are easy to fix, the emotional challenge of doing so can get in the way.
How to overcome resistance
By overcoming the emotional resistance to change, you can unlock greater wellbeing. If you are a wellness pro who helps others make lifestyle changes, you can help your clients with these, too. The physical challenges are one thing, but the emotional side is its own thing. I was inspired to share what I have learned about both in this post.
The physical challenge of the circadian lifestyle
There are 2 main ways people's circadian rhythms go astray:
There is too much variation in the day-to-day. This can be from work schedules, jet-lag, partying, or environment.
There is too little variation in the day-to-day. This can be from indoor living, and especially the for the bedridden. To go back to my example, the light in my bedroom was artificially extending my "sunset" experience, robbing me of proper darkness.
Artificial lighting tends to extend the time we spend under “sunset” conditions. This is the main reason we have such a hard time getting to sleep on time.
The good thing about the circadian rhythm is you can fix it (physically) with next to no willpower. At least, the way I teach it that is possible!
Many people go astray by focusing too much on schedule. What time do you get up? Exercise? Go outside? Go to bed? Have caffeine? Smoke? These behavioral cues are all strong zeitgeibers. For example, heavy cannabis users may have stronger entrainment than non-users (see this abstract here for how that might be working).
But they aren't self-sufficient zeitgeibers.
A self-sufficient zeitgeiber can entrain circadian clocks on its own. These can vary between species, but for humans, we are looking at only 3 self-sufficient cues:
1. Light
2. Temperature
3. Nutrients
So the 2 most important things to control for physically to strengthen circadian rhythms are environmental, and the third is mealtimes.
All other, non-self-sufficient zeitgeibers work to support or detract from these 3 primary cues. But they don’t override them.
Here's a review describing how the different known zeitgeibers interact: Entrainment of the Human Circadian Clock (2007).
So this is why you may have failed in the past if you tried to, say, set bedtime and waketime alarms. Yes, going to bed and waking up at the same time can help, but they won't override the self-sufficient cues. In my anecdote, the workout time was throwing me off, but it was in many ways a symptom of my lighting problem.
When lighting follows nature, a greater variety of healthy schedules become possible.
Circadian around the clock?
Humans and other critters have always lived "around the clock." The need for a strict diurnal schedule is only true under artificially lit conditions. Read the article attached to Consolidated vs Unconsolidated Sleep if you want to see alternatives to the 16/8 schedule. I was amazed to find out that light could have such a big impact on how we sleep!
When lighting follows nature, a greater variety of healthy schedules become possible. With this in mind, most modern entertainment experiences—TV, movies, clubbing, dining—become off limits because they don’t follow nature’s lighting schedule! It seems simple, physically, to give them up. Emotionally, however, this can be a big hurdle.
The emotional-social challenge of the circadian lifestyle
Setting the home lights and thermostat in a new way is pretty straightforward. Limiting food consumption to daytime is straightforward, even if it takes more willpower. But the feelings about all this that can come up that are a little trickier to deal with—especially within a family or social context. Here are some common challenges to living circadian:
Fear of missing out.
Any change has opportunity cost—how will you deal with missing your old lifestyle?
Loneliness.
Where will you hang out (and with who)? Nighttime dining, theaters, clubs and many other arenas are sources of circadian disruption.
Aversion.
Your [significant other] still embraces the modern life—now that you see the problems, you can't unsee them. Do you judge? Should you say anything? Conversely, do you now feel guilty for the lifestyle you lived in the past?
Condescension.
Your [significant other] refuses to listen to your advice—why don't they get it? Should you push it? Will this knowledge turn you into a busybody?
Arrogance.
You now live a lifestyle of rhythmicity—are you still sympathetic to those who choose not to? Do you now feel superior?
Mania.
Please study up if you or anyone in your house has a diagnosed mental condition, especially bipolar or schizophrenia. And be careful with your daytime light adjustments so you don't trigger any episodes: Circadian rhythm disruption and mental health (2020).
Harnessing social pressure
Giving up so much of modern society is a big deal, even when beneficial. If a person's community doesn't support them, that alone can overwhelm the urge to change. But when families, friends, and professionals are all in harmony, success is almost guaranteed. Humans are social like that :) So to succeed, you need to build a circadian-savvy tribe.
Positive communication leads to a culture of appreciation
Respectful communication is a way to elicit participation and nurture social harmony. If you are helping professionally, you can help your clients by sharing these tips, too. I see community-building as the most powerful way to deal with these emotional obstacles to the circadian lifestyle.
Here are some quick action tips for asking people in your family or community to adopt circadian habits:
Use "I" statements to express your request for change in a proactive way. “I am trying to strengthen my family’s circadian rhythms—could you please replace your porch light with a dark-sky friendly fixture so it doesn’t shine into our yard at night? I will split the cost with you.”
Remind yourself of things you appreciate about a person before speaking up to them, even you see them as a “problem person.” Try to have conversations from an overall foundation of cheerfulness.
Take responsibility for yourself first of all. Humility goes a long way! If you can’t change another, turn back to yourself. Maybe you need blackout curtains or blue-blocking glasses if you can’t get your neighbor to change their nighttime lighting.
If you feel like you are getting angry in a negotiation and feel unable to speak from a positive place any more, say so. Then, take a break so you can come back with a positive mindset.
These habits go a long way toward building a culture of trust and appreciation. This circadian information can seem new, strange, and even petty to people who haven’t embraced the knowledge yet.
(I adapted these conversational strategies from The Four Horsemen.)
Negotiating changes like new nightlights, new mealtimes, and new recreational habits can be difficult. Using positive verbal patterns can avoid many disagreements. A secure emotional foundation is the best launchpad for positive change. I also shared about using these skills to build circadian community here:
Change goes home by home, but sometimes it can sweep through a whole community at once. For examples, look into turtle lighting legislation (top-down) and dark-sky certification (bottom-up).
Cultivation of emotional resilience improves successful outcomes
The circadian movement still has a long way to go to reach mainstream support. There are a lot of modern things we love—movie theaters, laser light shows, etc—that give unnatural circadian cues. These unnatural circadian cues disturb rhythms, but in modern culture, we think of them as normal. This is why FOMO and loneliness are common sources of resistance against the circadian lifestyle. Achieving this lifestyle ultimately asks for strong relationships and community-wide participation.
For some inspirational pictures, go back to my post about circadian community. If we can do this for sea turtles, can we do this for ourselves!
Nikko
PS
Why shouldn’t we just sleep when we are tired (and get up whenever we feel like it)? Well, if our light and temperature enviro’s are all “modern,” the truth is, we can’t trust our bodies to be delivering those signals at the right times!