The difference between nap wake ups and night wake ups
Reinforce the difference between daytime snd nighttime signals
Here’s an easy strategy to help your baby understand the difference between waking up from a nap and waking up in the middle of the night:
if it is daytime, bring them outside right away for a minute (or more) of natural light
if it is nighttime, keep the lights dim (under 1 lux, and definitely no more than 5 lux)
Fine tune or amplify the strategy:
You can reinforce the daytime signal in many ways.
You can speak up joyfully when they wake.
Tell your baby how happy you are to see them awake, and even sing them a bouncy wake up song.
If you are brave enough to do elimination communication (EC) and have a private yard, this is an opportune “pottytunity.”
This is because for most of humanity we voided outside and babies are still primed that way.
When they wake up, if you take their diaper off outside, the light and air will very likely help cue them to void in their potty.
When they wake up in the dark, there are also multiple ways to amplify the signal to go back to sleep.
Keep your voice low and gentle to assure them you are present and they are safe, while telling them it’s nighttime and that you are going to go back to sleep.
Use shushing sounds, and maybe a little sleep song that you hum or murmur.
Even though it may be a while until they understand your words, they will understand the difference in your tone of voice.
Everything you can do to communicate with your baby about the time of day will help them consolidate their sleep as part of their maturing circadian rhythm.
If you need to see and care for them—like if they have a leaky diaper or you aren’t comfortable side lying for nursing yet—a small amount of light is okay, just don’t let it be brighter than the light of a single candle flame (and ideally, keep it eye height or below instead of overhead).
Just like for us adults, for our babies the circadian rhythms main cues are based on the differences between day:
warm
bright
noisy
active
and night:
cool
dim
quiet
calm
Some common mistakes with this are sleeping babies in cool, dark quiet rooms during the day, keeping the house hushed and quiet and thermally neutral around the clock 24-7, and expressing a lot of vocal emotion and hustle and bustle and bright overhead lights to see and get around (like refrigerator lights for bottle-fed babies) in the night.
Enroll in virtual doula care for 1-1 support, come to a community event for group support, or drop a question in the community chat for peer support if you are struggling with sleep.
